should i be trustful so soon?
My fiance has had trouble with alcohol and narcotics for a very long time. When we met he was honest about the addiction and said he was no longer using shortly after our first daughter was born he started using again. We had a rough road and he was in and out of a detox center which only keep you a week. He had no insurance so long term centers were out of the question. But after about 2 years he managed to get insurance and now he is in a actual rehab treatment center. I grew up around drugs in my family i never would touch them i know what they do and how they hurt everyone around you. But i also know how it is hard to trust those who are in recovery. I am in a situation where little comments from a few of his family says about he better be trusted and people better be patient with him. He will be getting out in a few weeks. Yes i totally understand that he does not need any extra pressure, but i also feel that all of the things me and our kids have been put through its only normal to want him to earn my trust. I think that by trusting him he should show me he is trustworthy. Am i wrong for this?
Honestly you have to be smart, don’t trust him because you want to trust him. You have kids to think about. You want to support him, and help him on this road. If he is just coming out of this fecility then he hasn’t been in the real world or tempted yet therefor he doesn’t even know if he is trustworthy. Talk to him about it, tell him you want him to be open with you because this is going to be difficult. This way if anything you can trust he will tell you. This is going to be hard for the both of you and a journey. He seems to be taking the steps himself to go in the right direction which is great and I will personally be praying for this situation for you.
September 26th, 2009 at 4:48 am
Honestly you have to be smart, don’t trust him because you want to trust him. You have kids to think about. You want to support him, and help him on this road. If he is just coming out of this fecility then he hasn’t been in the real world or tempted yet therefor he doesn’t even know if he is trustworthy. Talk to him about it, tell him you want him to be open with you because this is going to be difficult. This way if anything you can trust he will tell you. This is going to be hard for the both of you and a journey. He seems to be taking the steps himself to go in the right direction which is great and I will personally be praying for this situation for you.
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September 26th, 2009 at 5:02 am
Anyone in the addiction treatment field will tell you that an addict in recovery must be clean for at least a year for things to change for them. I was in a relationship such as yours and you are right to want him to earn your trust. If I were you I would not even live with him. You do not want your children exposed to addictions and you certainly deserved to be treated well.
One thing my Ex used to say after one of his drunken binges was that he could not remember anything so how bad could it have been. They have no idea what they do to their loved ones. None. Part of his recovery involves making amends for his addictive behaviors and the problems that it causes.
I wish you and your babies all the best.
Good Luck….
Red
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