i’m sick of living at home but i’m scared to leave?
im 14 years old and my family has a lot of problems. my mom used drugs since she was 14 until she was 18, then had me at 18 and stopped completely. she snapped when i was 9 and my sister was 6 and my brother was 3 and she left us with babysitters and other people and then finally let us with our grandparents. we lived with our grandparents for 2 years and when i was 11 we moved back with our mom but things were way worse. i am now 14 and have been back with her for 3 years. she goes to her drug meetings (NA, like alcoholics anonymous) and i have to babysit 3 times a week for at least 5 hours and i don’t have a choice. she pays me 40 dollars a month but refuses to buy my anything. she thinks that 40 dollars will cover anything that i need. the last thing i remember her buying me was school supplies and that was in august. i know its not all about things you get but im sick of being poor and having to live with her because she always yells at me for things i don’t do and im sick of her stupid narcotics anonymous meetings that i have to babysit for. i want to move with my dad when my sister turns 11 (she is 10 now) because then she can do the babysitting. i will still be 14. its either that or i live with a friend. when i am 14 i can legally get a job (i looked it up in my province) and i want to move with my dad and pay for my own stuff. my dad is way more poor than my mom though. he lives up in the middle of knowwhere, and he doesn’t have electric heating, and his bathtub doesnt have a shower but i figured i could spend a few nights a week with a differant friend and i could shower at my friends house or at school. should i move out i want to get a real life away from this? i really dont think its good for me living hear and when im more on my own i will be more responcible. i am very responcible for my age and people have thought i was 17 from the way i act. this is not some "teen thing" i really think it would be for the better. should i actualy do it though?
i did not want that. i want to leave home not listen to your whining. you know what your life was probley fine am i right? yeah its nice that she goes to meeting but its been 3 years does she honestly need 15 hours a week of me babysitting? and i cant go to school dances or anything because i can’t afford it. if i do than i only have 10 dollars. 20 for a dress (that looks ugly) and 10 to get in. that leaves 10 for lunches and each lunch costs around 3 dollars leaving possibley 4 lunches a month and going hungry the rest of the time. and i am not being stuck up about it you try living one day in my life and tell me its fine.
no i don’t want to ruin it for my siblings. they can live with it. i have another sister and i dont think she could live without my mom. my mom is great to them besdies the meaness and we have already been through social services i dont want to do that to them again. i can shower at home but its hell so i want to leave.
all im saying is im not happy. nobody can make me happy but myself so i have to take action and i think that moving with my dad is the right thing to do in order to be happy. im just scared up bringing up the idea with my mom.
no i can not live with my grandparents. they just retired and are living in a no kids apartment and are planning to travel. besides if i live with my dad it won’t be cold. it is winter now and im there and he uses a wood burning stove to keep the house warm. if i pitch in with some money from my job then i can get grocerys. i don’t eat much anyways maybe 3 small meals a day (about 1 and a half meals that a grown person would eat) and im not about to grow any time soon so i won’t need more. i am already at my full height. (5foot1)
so i think its for the best im going to do it.
Calm down, sunshine. Take a deep breath. Your siblings need you right now. You’re leaving home in four years, I KNOW you can hold on! (And your family’s poverty, along with your story, will help you get scholarships to get a good education and make sure you’re never in a situation like this again.) Use the time you have at home wisely: work on your homework while you’re sitting, and help your siblings to do the same. Find ways to stretch your money – get clothes at a second-hand store, and mix and match them, or sew them to make a fun, funky, original look. You’ll be okay.
I know that every day seems like the end of the world right now, and that it feels sometimes like you’ll never make it through the day, but you will, I promise. And the next. And the next.
You don’t need to put yourself in a situation where you’ll have to pay for even more than you do now, or where you don’t have proper sanitation. Talk to your mom about this, see if she’ll let you get a job, see what she thinks about you moving in with your dad. There might be things you need to know to make an informed decision.
September 11th, 2009 at 10:55 pm
you need to stop wining and just be glad she is going to the meetings and trying to get better and umm your 14 40$ a month what the hell do you need come on please just grow up and stop being like you are just being stuck up about all of it
References :
September 11th, 2009 at 11:40 pm
Call social services. They could help you -maybe even get you , your sister and brother into a foster family . where you can actually shower.
Hope it helps.
References :
Try it.
September 12th, 2009 at 12:00 am
Family counseling
References :
September 12th, 2009 at 12:16 am
Well, you have to at least be respectful of your mother’s effort to do what is right for you and your family. At least she’s going to her alcholic meetings, and such, many mothers don’t even bother and are still junkies, and still try to raise a family. $40 a month is actually alot kiddo, I didn’t even get that when I was 14 and I had to very successful parents. Don’t rebel against your mom’s efforts to maintain a better life, especially don’t hound her for her NA meetings. That will only pressure her more, and who knows, maybe she will abuse drugs again. All mothers yell at their children, it is just a part of life. You can’t really change your parents economic status of poor vs. rich, just remember that you have to be happy through the thick and thin. Also remind yourself, if you’re tired of being poor, in 4 years, there are many opprutunites in your hands waiting on you to grasp them in order to become economically satisfied with your life. It looks easier said than done, because if you really think about working at 14, then coming home to an unelectric heated house, that is even more misery. Make the best of what you have, and enjoy life while you are at it. All will get better soon. I hope this helps
References :
September 12th, 2009 at 12:35 am
will you be complaining at your dads when its winter and he has no heat and had bathtub has not shower. I know its a hard situation but you still need to look at the brighter side of it. you have a roof over your head, you may not have the luxuries adn previliges as some of your friend but you are still only 14 and you may not want to live the way you are living. Unless you are being physically abused, you donthave too much room to complain. get a job as you mentioned. be there to take care of your sisters since your mom cant. your mom is trying to help herself so she can eventually help you and your sisters. not being able to go to school functions is a bummer. but it is NOT the end of the world. your dads situation is jsut as bad as your moms if not worse. can you go back to your grandparents
References :
September 12th, 2009 at 1:10 am
Calm down, sunshine. Take a deep breath. Your siblings need you right now. You’re leaving home in four years, I KNOW you can hold on! (And your family’s poverty, along with your story, will help you get scholarships to get a good education and make sure you’re never in a situation like this again.) Use the time you have at home wisely: work on your homework while you’re sitting, and help your siblings to do the same. Find ways to stretch your money – get clothes at a second-hand store, and mix and match them, or sew them to make a fun, funky, original look. You’ll be okay.
I know that every day seems like the end of the world right now, and that it feels sometimes like you’ll never make it through the day, but you will, I promise. And the next. And the next.
You don’t need to put yourself in a situation where you’ll have to pay for even more than you do now, or where you don’t have proper sanitation. Talk to your mom about this, see if she’ll let you get a job, see what she thinks about you moving in with your dad. There might be things you need to know to make an informed decision.
References :