my husband is in rehab… I had to idea.?
My husband was admitted to a rehab facility 60 miles away from me on Friday after walking to his unioon representative and telling them he had a problem. I had no idea but he had been taking xanax that was prescribed by a doctor since august, was taking them before that by getting them off the streets and has been on prescription pain killers (i knew that) for about a year but he runs out about 2 weeks early and gets them off the street. He has had an emtional relationship with another woman for the last 2 months through text messaging… all kinds of stuff is coming out now that he is there. I am going to an al-anon meeting locally on thursday but am having a really hard time finding support for people with family members who are abusing narcotic prescription drugs. Does anyone know of any online resources?? I live in Indiana…
we have a 2.5 year old and she asks me every night to send her daddy in there to tell her good night. THis is so hard… I am lost and dont know what to do. Our christmas tree is up in the attic so someone is supposed to be coming over to get it down but its going to be hard putting it up without him. Thats his favorite part… He will be gone for a month.
I’m sorry for your struggle. At least you can be thankful your husband recognized he has a problem and he’s getting help. It would be worse if his addiction illness progressed over the years and he did nothing about it.
You can attend OPEN Narcotics Anonymous meetings. Open meetings are for anyone to attend, not just the addict. These meetings are run by recovering addicts, and there you will get a lot of good information and support.
You can take the time this Christmas to be thankful you have a husband who is getting the help he needs and deserves. I hope he continues his treatment after he’s out of rehab by attending Narcotics Anonymous as well.
take care, enjoy your Christmas knowing your husband will return a healthier person.
December 15th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
I would go see him.
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December 15th, 2009 at 4:36 pm
I’m sorry for your struggle. At least you can be thankful your husband recognized he has a problem and he’s getting help. It would be worse if his addiction illness progressed over the years and he did nothing about it.
You can attend OPEN Narcotics Anonymous meetings. Open meetings are for anyone to attend, not just the addict. These meetings are run by recovering addicts, and there you will get a lot of good information and support.
You can take the time this Christmas to be thankful you have a husband who is getting the help he needs and deserves. I hope he continues his treatment after he’s out of rehab by attending Narcotics Anonymous as well.
take care, enjoy your Christmas knowing your husband will return a healthier person.
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December 15th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
Wow. That is a very tough thing to experience at this time of year in this stage of your life. I can only express my admiration though. Your husband realised himself he has a problem and has taken immediate action. He has been honest to you. He obviously wants to stay together with you. It might be worth to drive the 60 miles with your kid and visit daddy. That’s what I’d do, assuming that would not jeopardize his treatment of course
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December 15th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
You should probably look for a Narcotics Anonymous. I don’t know where in Indiana you live (I live there too), but I googled it for the state and there are several locations. You might have to drive a bit more, but I would think it would be worth it to get support from people whose family members are on drugs, not alchohol.
You could also check out nami.org for resources (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill) or check out online NA (Narcotics Anonymous) resources. I think the more you read and educate yourself about it, then the better.
I would also take this time to empower yourself. I am not saying in any way that you should have known about your husband, addicts are good at hiding stuff. But it sounds like there were some things that might have tipped you off there was a problem and that maybe you were in denial or not wanting to believe it because you wanted to think that best of him. You husband is an addict and he had an affair, neither is unforgivable, and in some ways he needs your support. But pretending none of this happened or that it was all becasue he was on drugs won’t do you any favors, so I would see if you and your husband could also get couple’s counseling while he is rehab because usually they will do family counseling sessions to help you understand and to help him understand what to do once he is out and comes home.
So while you are doing all this work on behalf of supporting your husband, remember to do things that make you feel good. Get together with friends and just go out and have fun and don’t think or talk about the situation. Have a nice Christmas with your daugher, she is old enough that you can totally do tons of activities like baking cookies and visiting Santa and taking her to a nursing home to cheer up some lonely people and decorating the tree. Make sure you are taking care of yourself and that you are feeling good, even if you go get a haircut or just buy a new lipgloss, do something for yourself. Journal and write down what YOU want once your husband comes home and what you are going to demand and research a good family or couple’s therapist so that once you husband comes home with his addiction under control you guys can go about addressing the other issues in the marriage like the emotional affair.
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December 15th, 2009 at 6:21 pm
Wow – I can’t believe you still have your blinders on. Of course you knew…you just want to keep hiding your head in the sand. Once you start going to meetings you will start putting the pieces together and have some "ah ha" moments…You can also try Narcotics Anonymous – they should have a family version of that support group…
As for your girl…deal. My husband went into inpatient alcohol treatment when our daughter was 2. All she needed to know was that dad was in the hospital and he would be home as soon as he was feeling better.
Woman up and do what you have to do…you need start being more self-sufficient anyways…
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December 15th, 2009 at 7:10 pm
Sorry but I don’t know of any online sources for you. I did want to type a couple of lines to say God bless all of you and with God you can all make it through this rough time. Take care and may God bless each one of you.
You can always make up for lost time once he completes his therapy. (smile)
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December 15th, 2009 at 7:19 pm
You need to come clean with your little girl. At 2.5 they are old enough to know something isnt right. It would be better to explain to her that " Daddy is in the hospital. He’s going to be just fine and be back in a few weeks. So dont worry. Everything is ok. He just needs to rest and sleep "
and smile while youre saying this.
She’ll get that he’s ok and will be back. Right now, she’s probably wondering where daddy has gone. ..and feeling abandoned. Thats cruel, you need to be honest ( in a childs way)
You’ll do Christmas for your little girl and you’ll make it a good one. You put up the tree and play songs, and games..and make that child happy.
Youre a head of the house now. You gotta be strong for your childs sake.
. You can do it.
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December 15th, 2009 at 7:33 pm
sending good vibes to you. One of the least explainable things I know of is prayer. They have done repeatable/double blind hospital studies on the effects of prayer (you can google these) to the effect that it helps significantly even if the pray-er "doesn’t believe" in it and the pray-ee doesn’t either or even know he’s being prayed for. Ha! so go figure…anyway I pray. Lots. Every day. For me it’s not a christian-hand folding-on my knees- thing and it do it during the day and mostly at night as I’m starting to snooze. Mostly just a simple "please god…" and a barely finished thought…just prayed for you, too.
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December 15th, 2009 at 8:08 pm
God..City People…
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